10 Proven Ways to Encourage Your Kids Effectively
Tuesday March 20, 2018
Children at their young age needs to be motivated and encouraged so that they have definite set goals in their lives. Words of encouragement when used in the right way can have a very positive effect on the child’s life.
Be it at school or at home, words of encouragement used in the right way can help in the developmental stage of the child. Kids yearn to be appreciated for what they do.
Though they are scolded for being mischievous and breaking things, they should be appreciated an encouraged when they do good things.
It is quite natural for children to try out new things while they are in the growing stage. Parents as well as teacher should keep an eye out to the things they do and find out things that they do that deserve encouragement.
You never know what words children carry with them throughout their lives. So, it is important to choose your words wisely when it comes to encouraging children.
Words that are not followed by action are useless but words instil in the minds of kids things that will last for a life time.
Listed here are the 10 proven ways that can encourage your kids effectively.
1. Story Filled Life – Making your child’s life full of stories is one way to make their life interesting. Pick up a book and read it out to them. If they are of the age to start reading them, read it along with them.
Let them read it aloud and act out the story. This engraves the words in the story in their minds and helps them to communicate better later in life.
2. Sincere and Honest Praise – You must praise them honestly and sincerely. Insincere praise is not just ineffective but it can sometimes be harmful.
It is futile to think that they can’t differentiate between an honest and dishonest encouragement. When given an insincere praise they tend to think ‘I was not good enough and I know it’.
Such praises can lead to children’s self-criticism and must be avoided at all costs.
3. Specific and Descriptive Comments – Instead of using generic comments use specific and descriptive comments. ‘I appreciate that you had come up with a good solution for this problem’ is better that ‘You are a genius to solve this question’.
Children perceive such descriptive comments as factually correct and sincere that comments that are less general.
4. Praise their Effort not their Ability – Kids can differentiate between praising their effort and their ability. Appreciating the effort that they took to solve a problem is much accepted than their ability in doing so.
Effort can be perceived as a long term goal and kids will try to improve their efforts rather that saying they are capable of doing something because of their ability. Kids need to attribute success to their efforts rather than their ability.
5. Avoid Controlling or Conditional Praise – Positive informational feedback should be preferred to controlling praise that intends to control or manipulate.
The conditional encouragements that you show to your kids will engrave a contingent self worth in children. You must ensure that praise is not used as a controlling tool.
Self-worth is nothing but what they feel they deserve from others. So always remember praise is not to control your children but to promote them.
6. Avoid Comparison – You might have the tendency to compare your child with other children. No, this is not acceptable. Parents and teacher tend to compare children in academics, sports or extracurricular activities with other children.
At times it helps children to become motivated by seeing another kid do it. But if it back fires it will be worse. Your kid might feel insecure that they are not good enough.
Just imagine that you are being compared your colleague who is more successful than you. If you perform well you will be motivated and excited. But in case you fail you will feel more depressed than motivated.
7. Unnecessary Praise – Some parents praise their children unnecessarily. This has a negative impact on children. When children are praised for easy tasks they tend to be laid back and not try things that are hard to do.
Children who are praised for simple things will only do things that please their parents and refrain from doing tougher tasks. They tend to follow a pattern to do things that gets them appraisal and not experiment with new things.
8. Hands on Experience – Let them do the simple tasks in daily life themselves, be there right beside them but let them do it themselves.
Washing clothes, planting saplings, taking the dog out for a walk, etc are some of the simple tasks you can let them do on your watch. This way it cultivates a sense of everyday work and things related to them.
Your child will understand the need for routine and if he/she is happy to do it, the better.
9. Ample Playtime – All work and no play makes jack a dull boy. Give them enough time to play around. Kids should be and must be having a great time when they are young. This way they also understand the need for a recess while at work.
10. Reward and Motivation – It is important to give reward and motivation when your kid does something that deserves it. If they are given a reward when they do something good, they tend to repeat it and make it a habit.
A good habit when reinforced becomes a pattern and they will continue it their whole life.
It doesn’t matter what age your kids are, teaching them properly what is right and wrong at an early age will help them throughout their lives.
Children look up to their parents to understand how to live in this world. At this age children are curious and creative and have a fast learning curve unlike adults who have a slower learning curve.
Children will carry with them their whole life whatever that is taught at this age. Buying a lot of toys so that they stay put is not the only thing that parents can do for their kids. They must be given ample space for their creativity to be used and flourished.